Some Thoughts About Small Weddings

I am a huge fan of small wed­dings, both per­son­ally and pro­fes­sion­ally.  My hus­band and I had a small wed­ding of 40 peo­ple and I couldn’t imag­ine hav­ing done it any other way.  We were able to put so much more of our­selves into the wed­ding and spread our bud­get fur­ther than we would have been able to oth­er­wise.  There was no way the we could have swung the tequila tast­ing and oys­ter bar, cig­ars, a 3 course din­ner at a world famous Miche­lin Star restau­rant, and the wel­come lun­cheon at a pri­vate win­ery; if we had invited 150 guests.  How­ever, these are not the rea­sons why I was so com­pletely elated with our petite wedding.

What meant the most to me on this most spe­cial of days was that we were able to share a per­sonal moment with every sin­gle guest, and still had time to enjoy and take-in every detail of our week­end.  My hus­band and I even did the impos­si­ble… we ate!  I have spo­ken to many brides and grooms which after the whirl­wind of the affair are fam­ished; and worst spent the entire evening cor­nered by their father’s busi­ness asso­ciate and their crazy uncle which they have not seen for 8 years.

I think that the most beau­ti­ful thing about a small wed­ding is that your guests all feel like they were part of a spe­cial lit­tle secret, some­thing that they are allowed to bond over and expe­ri­ence together.  We took all of our guests on a 30 minute shut­tled drive, with 15 min­utes of that drive on a pri­vate sin­gle lane and very steep road cov­ered in trees to a pri­vate moun­tain top 800 acre vine­yard and win­ery.  All of the guests were on a sin­gle shut­tle together… need­less to say they were all bonded firmly together when they finally arrived!   I know what you are think­ing, and yes, the shut­tle was air con­di­tioned.   It is expe­ri­ences like this that set this wed­ding apart from all oth­ers in their mind, and we could not have achieved that close­ness and sense of fam­ily with a larger wed­ding.  (Note to read­ers:  I am not advo­cat­ing expos­ing your guests to emo­tion­ally and phys­i­cally chal­leng­ing sit­u­a­tions… bungee jump­ing, any­one, any­one????  Yeah, didn’t think so… watch­ing a guest have a hyper-mental melt down is not some­thing that encour­ages good moral.  Not good for you, not good for your guests!)

A cou­ple celebrity wed­dings that always res­onate with me when I am think­ing of inti­mate events are Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott’s, a wed­ding of only 2 peo­ple; and Ellen DeGeneres and Por­tia de Rossi, with their 19 guests at home.  Nei­ther of these cou­ples skimped on the details, or the grandeur of the event.  Your wed­ding is the hol­i­day of your mar­riage; it should be per­sonal, spe­cial and uniquely yours!

Tori and Dean held an idyl­lic cer­e­mony and 2 per­son recep­tion on the beach at the Wakaya Club in Fiji.   They exchanged vows at sun­set and then had a multi-course gourmet din­ner served to them in an antique bed, which was posi­tioned on the beach over­look­ing the ocean and fash­ioned with opu­lent linens.  They danced their first dance together on the beach with waves splash­ing their feet and built sand cas­tles together in the sand.

Once back home in Los Ange­les they held a chic cock­tail recep­tion, planned by Jo Gartin of Love, Luck and Angles.  They shared with their friends and fam­ily a 40 minute silent video of their week in Fiji; which they filmed in Super 8 film and pro­jected on the wall at the recep­tion.  Another way they brought ele­ments of Fiji to thier guests was in their “Wish Tree”, which served the same pur­pose as a guest book.  The tree was con­structed of wil­low and orchids and the vase that held the branches was full of seashells the cou­ple col­lected on the beach together in Fiji.  Guests hung their hand writ­ten notes on the tree for the bride and groom.  Ahhh… perfection!

Ellen and Portia’s wed­ding was per­fectly theirs as well.  Designed by the incred­i­ble Mindy Wiess, they held their 19 per­son cer­e­mony and recep­tion at home.  The can­dlelit cer­e­mony took place in their liv­ing room, where on over­stuffed floor pil­lows they exchang­ing their vows in front of only their most pre­cious friends and fam­ily.  Fol­low­ing the cer­e­mony they sat all of their guests at a sin­gle long table for a multi-course vegan meal, pre­pared for them by their per­sonal chef.  The recep­tion table was cov­ered in flo­ral arrange­ments of roses and café au lait dahlias; and chan­de­liers hung from the open air tent, which was draped in sheer white cur­tains. After din­ner they cut their vegan red vel­vet cake, from Sweet Lady Jane; and Ellen sur­prised her Por­tia with an acoustic per­for­mance by one of her favorite singers, Joshua Radin.

Another ele­ment that I loved about this wed­ding was the cou­ple wore cus­tom designed coor­di­nat­ing Zac Posen dress and pant suit…  I think Portia’s dress was one of the most beau­ti­ful wed­ding dresses I have ever seen… and prob­a­bly cost more than most peo­ple spend on their entire wed­ding.  Worth every penny, I am sure of it!  How­ever I am a total sucker for any­thing by Zac Posen.

One of the most impor­tant points I am try­ing to con­vey is that a small wed­ding doesn’t mean you are on a tight bud­get (how­ever it is one of the best ways to stretch your bud­get) or that you have to skimp on style, or that it lim­its you any way.  In fact it is exactly the oppo­site… With less peo­ple you are freer to explore ideas and con­cepts which you could not pull off with a large guest list.  Gone is the day of wed­dings being a show piece, a way of show­ing the world that you are big­ger and bet­ter than that cou­ple over there… okay maybe they still are for some peo­ple.  More power to you if that “some peo­ple” is you…  The world needs big wed­dings as much as these teeny tiny ones!  How­ever, I feel blessed to have wed in an era where a wed­ding is not lim­ited by any tra­di­tion or social pres­sure and is purely what it should be, a day where you declare your love and com­mit­ment to your mate and share it with those you love.  The rest should only lim­ited by your imagination.

Happy Plan­ning,

Melia Spring

Here are some inspirations…

Images from Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott’s Wed­ding and Reception

The Cou­ple in Fiji

Exchang­ing Vows

The Pri­vate Recep­tion — Com­plete with Sandcastles

Their “Wish Tree”

Watch­ing the Silent Movie at the Recep­tion in Los Angeles

Other Details from the Recep­tion in Los Angeles

Images from Por­tia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres’ Wed­ding and Reception

The Cou­ple Wear­ing Zac Posen

A Pri­vate Moment before Din­ner — I love the mix matched chairs!

Another Recep­tion Photo

The Cake!

Tagged as: Celebrity Wedding, Ellen DeGeneres Wedding, Melia Spring Weddings, Tori Spelling Wedding, Wedding Inspiration